foreign accent. For the longest time, I thought a GYN surgeon was
telling his patients to "open your ass" when he wanted them to
"open your eyes."
• • •
It's not often that I get (have) to scrub. I'm more than rusty at it, I'm
corroded. But one day we were short on scrub techs, so I was told to
scrub in and hold a camera. My heart rate was about 180. As they say,
scrubbing, gowning and gloving are like riding a unicycle. I bellied up
to the draped patient and took a deep breath. Seconds after they put
the camera in my hand, somebody said something funny. Laughing is
annoying to others when you're holding the camera — annoying with
a significant amount of motion sickness. I settled down and willed my
camera-holding hand to be still. Too bad I followed up the giggles with
the hiccups. Just call me Shakes.
• • •
I'm bilingual. I speak English and Southern. Don't think Southern
is its own language? Go down into the Deep South. They speak a
foreign language.
• • •
Some surgeons and techs are really blessed with OCD. It can be a
nightmare for the circulator to get them in the same room at once,
especially when there seems to be a million specimens.
"The first specimen is, get the ruler please, the first specimen is 2.3
centimeters lateral to the mass."
"The second specimen is 1.25 centimeters anterior to the first speci-
men with a long purple stitch marking at 12 o'clock."
"The third specimen is …"
And on and on and on and on.
OSM
Contact Ms. Watkins at pwatkins12@comcast.net.
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