Patient: "I'm allergic to all pain medication except Dilaudid."
All the others make you itch and want to throw your guts up, right?
But I bet you can tell me exactly the strength and how often you
should get Dilaudid.
Surgeon: "My next case is a carpal tunnel. I need a fast
turnover."
So taking a bonbon break after this 4-hour case with 20 3000-liter bags
of saline and almost as many blankets on the floor is not a good idea?
Surgeon: "Why did the
turnover on my case take so long?"
We can talk about no H&P, no orders, or you going MIA, leaving those 2
devil phones of yours on the desk in the OR you just scampered out of.
Surgeon: "It's my card. I do it the same way every time always."
I'm sure it is and somewhere over the rainbow, you think you do, but I
don't work with you all the time (thanks be to the OR gods) and there
is no card for this procedure.
Surgeon: "Where's Mary? Get Mary. She always knows what I
need and how to do my cases."
The nurse's name is Marty, and she hasn't worked here in 5 years.
Surgeon: "I'm going to stop coming here. You never have what I
need or know what you're doing."
If we could only be that lucky. Last we heard, this is the only hospital
left in town where you still have privileges.
Behind Closed Doors
BCD
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