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• A drop-in from the boss. When your supervisor visits the OR during a
case (which is creepy enough because how often does your supervi-
sor actually set foot in an OR?) and says, "When you have a minute, I
need to talk to you."
• Unexpected add-ons. You finish a long afternoon of cases and finally
exhale. As you head for the lounge and possibly a cup of coffee, you
feel a chill in the empty corridor. You shudder as you realize that each
OR you've passed is still going. Your room was the first to come down
… and as you draw near the schedule board, there it is [sinister organ
music playing]: an add-on! Worse, it's with Dr. Dread! [Psycho stab-
bing chords here].
• An attorney on the gurney. You interview the patient, a mild-mannered,
soft-spoken woman. You go over her consent and confirm the proce-
dure, transport her to the OR and transfer her onto the table, cover
her with blankets and secure her with a safety belt. After the time out,
you chitchat with her while anesthesia prepares the induction. Right
before she drifts off to dreamland, she says, "Now y'all do a good job,
I'm an attorney."
• The wife of the hospital's CEO. A friend assigned to that case told me it
was like something out of the Twilight Zone had sucked the coordina-
tion and confidence right out of her. Whatever it was also increased
the pull of gravity, so that everything she handled fell immediately to
the floor.
• Possessed equipment. There are certain nightmares of electronic
equipment that I can never seem to get working. If I call another nurse
for help, he carries out the same steps I've tried 3 times and, boom,
we're operational. I need to warn him: It's very clearly a female demon
that has designs on him.
• Uncooperative EMRs. For older nurses: You struggle to control your
B E H I N D C L O S E D D O O R S