Outpatient Surgery Magazine - Subscribers

Watch Your Step - May 2014 - Outpatient Surgery Magazine

Outpatient Surgery Magazine, providing current information on Surgical Services, Surgical Facility Administration, Outpatient Surgery News and Trends, OR Excellence and more.

Issue link: http://magazine.outpatientsurgery.net/i/309684

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Page 122 of 126

Page 123 CUTTING REMARKS John D. Kelly IV, MD Tales From the Crypt Patients do and say the darndest things. After nearly 24 years of surgical practice, I would like to think that I have seen it all. Well, maybe not everything imaginable, but I have experienced my fair share of tall tales. I would like to share just a few of the post-op phenomena I have witnessed over the past 2 decades. • Man's best friend. I once operated on a true dog lover. I got the feeling this fellow ate, slept and even bathed with one of his canine friends. When we removed the dressings on the first post-op visit after ACL surgery, several worms came squirming from the tibial wound. I kid you not. The presumed heartworms almost put our athletic trainer into shock. Thankfully, the patient never experienced an infection. (They do use maggots for wounds, don't they?) I wasn't sure if I should give the patient antibiotics or a worm collar! • Workers' comp shuffle. After performing a successful hip arthroscopy on a rather pleasant young man, I received a text message from the PACU nurse. Alarmed and naturally thinking that the patient was experiencing some post-op complication, I was stupefied to see that the text essentially read: "Mr. Smith wanted you to know that his hip was fine BEFORE the work accident." Great. Now workers' comp patients are enlisting the services of PACU nurses. I asked the nurse to tell the patient I got the message. I was just hoping I wouldn't hear from his lawyer in the morning.

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