just an old circulating nurse running to the moon and back to collect
the things I need to start the surgery on time.
Head of the table?
Have you ever peeked behind the curtain during those watch-
ing-paint-dry cases? In one such case I was working, the CRNA fell
asleep. Aren't full moons supposed to cause insomnia? Kudos to the
first assistant for calling him out and interrupting his nap. I've seen
other "bored" anesthesia providers — shouldn't having someone's life
in your hands be excitement enough? — kill time checking Facebook,
playing the latest online game, texting or watching a feature-length
movie (with AirPods in their ears!). This is done as they're asking me
to grab another bag of fluid when they're literally 10 steps from the
warming cabinet and I'm clear across the room.
Brittle bones
I just know we fix more bones in elderly patients during full
moons. I don't know why the 70-and-older ladies have to go out and
get the newspaper or mail when three inches of ice coats the front
porch steps. I wish they'd look up before stepping out, and hunker
down if that mystical orb in the sky appears fully lit.
Meal-time madness
I had been going through the usual assessment and questions
with my patient and was about to take her to the OR when my lunch
relief decided that I had to go eat right now! I asked if she would like
a report on the patient's condition. Her answer was no. She felt like I
had learned everything necessary, and it wasn't like I wouldn't be
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